Chapter Eight: The Closure

Stranger Things – S05E08 – Chapter Eight: The Rightside Up | Transcript

[crickets chirping]

[distant growling]

[vehicles approaching]

[soldiers shouting]

[soldier 1] I swear to God, I didn’t touch shit!

[lead soldier] So the gate just opened up all on its own, like magic?

[soldier 1] It must’ve been some kind of malfunction.

[lead soldier] Let me get this straight. There was a malfunction at the exact moment that truck showed up? You expect me to believe that, soldier?

[soldier 1] I swear. I don’t know what happened.

[Dr. Kay] What if it was a malfunction? Only one not caused by us.

[thunder crashing]

[Murray] All right, lab rats, let’s scurry up. An entire dimension’s about to come crashing down on our heads.

[Mike] Hey. Is everything okay? [sighs] Listen, I know this plan is totally mad, and a million things have to go right, and a million things could and probably will go wrong. But we can do this. I know it. One last fight, and this whole nightmare, it’ll be over. It’ll finally be over.

[dramatic music playing]

[Akers] Well, hello there.

[soldier] MAC, this is Wolfpack. Do you copy

[Akers] What do you think you’re doing?

[soldier] Alerting the Doc.

[Akers] That bitch has a God complex. All she’ll do is slow us down. No. We’re bagging this freak ourselves.

[all gasping]

[unsettling music playing]

[particles pumping]

[pulsing]

[pulsing increases]

[rumbling]

[tense music playing]

[synth theme music playing]

[Mr. Clarke] Do you think they’re all right?

[Erica] The truck is faster than a Humvee. Let’s be conservative, say five miles faster. They had a six minute, 20 second head start, giving them an additional lead of about half a mile. So they’re fine for now, but the real shit hasn’t started yet.

[Mr. Clarke] Erica, language, please.

[Erica] This isn’t Intro to Science. This situation demands cussing.

[Mr. Clarke sighs]

[Erica] So, how’s it feel?

[Mr. Clarke] What?

[Erica] Helping to save the world and all that.

[Mr. Clarke] It feels pretty swell. Pretty goddamn swell.

[tires squealing]

[vehicles approaching]

[soldier 1] Go! Go! Go!

[soldier 2] Breach! Move, move, move!

[soldiers chattering on walkie-talkies]

[Vicki] Hey, Robin, yeah. Can you please tell me that that was you guys and not more of those, like, mutant Cujos?

[Robin] It’s us, and it’s too early to be stressed, Vic. Save it for later.

[Vicki] Yeah, no, copy that, yeah. No. Bottling… Bottling emotions.

[foreboding music playing]

[Lucas] No sign of an evil moving planet.

[Jonathan] Well, that’s good. ‘Cause this is gonna take some time. All right, we should split up. Use both ladders. Don’t rush. Pace yourselves. There are platforms along the way, so use them to rest. All right. Let’s do this.

[intense music playing]

[Kali] You okay?

[Dr. Brenner] Don’t be frightened. These are all friends. They’re just here to watch. Don’t focus on them.

[Eleven] Yes, Papa.

[screeching]

[machinery powering up]

[Murray] And let there be light.

[Hopper] All right, nice work, Bald Eagle. Now get up to the roof. Careful with that C4. I don’t wanna blow the Upside Down with us in it.

[Murray] Oh, I was planning on carelessness. But you’re right, Jim. Caution here would be wise.

[Hopper] All right. Now remember, two slow knocks means…

[Eleven] The Abyss started to move.

[Hopper] That’s right. And you and your sister get in position, but you wait. You do not attack. The second I get confirmation that planet’s close enough to the tower, then I’m gonna give you three fast knocks.

[Eleven] Then we strike. We kill Henry.

[Hopper] And we, uh, pray to God Dustin’s right, and that planet stops moving. What could possibly go wrong, right?

[Eleven] If something does go wrong, I need you to promise me you won’t pull me out. Not until I’m sure he’s dead.

[Hopper] Okay, well, then I’m gonna need a promise from you too. If by some miracle this plan works, we’re getting the hell out of here. Doc Kay and her plans, that’s a problem for another day. Deal?

[Hopper] Let’s end this, kid.

[Kali exhaling deeply]

[Will breathing heavily]

[Mike] You want some?

[Will] Yeah.

[Mike] Hey, um… What you said earlier at the Squawk… I’m sorry. I mean, not sorry about what you said. That came out wrong. Or not came out wrong. Jesus Christ.

[Will] [chuckles] It’s okay.

[Mike] No, it’s… it’s not. I should have been there for you, and I wasn’t. And I guess I was just so self-absorbed that I couldn’t see it. I just… I feel like an idiot, and I… [sighs] I’m sorry.

[Will] You don’t have to be sorry. And you are not an idiot. You’re not. It’s just… I didn’t even understand it myself for the longest time. I just… I think it needed to happen the way it happened. I needed to find my own way. But what matters is that you’re still here, and you still think we can be friends.

[Mike] Friends? No, thanks. Best friends. All right, come on. We’ve got a planet to catch.

[Vickie] What the hell is taking them so long?

[Max] I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it’s a 500foot tower. If something’s wrong, they’ll contact us.

[Vicki] Yeah, no, yeah. I mean, unless they’re already dead. Okay, uh, stress gives me the munchies, so I, um… Do you want anything?

[Max] No.

[Vicki] Okay.

[Max] Actually, can I get a–

[eerie music playing]

[Max] Vickie? Vickie!

[voice echoing]

[Max] Holy shit.

[Vicki] Mm. I swear to God, nothing cures anxiety quite like a bowl–

[electricity humming]

[Kali] Trippy, isn’t it?

[Eleven] Hi.

[Jonathan grunting]

[Dustin] Thanks, man.

[Jonathan] Okay.

[Dustin] It’s pretty damn spectacular.

[Lucas] It’s almost too bad we have to blow it all up.

[distant rumbling]

[intense music playing]

[Dustin] Mother of God.

[Murray] Jim, do you, uh, copy?

[Hopper] Yeah, yeah, copy.

[Murray] Well, I got some good news, bad news. Uh, good news is our theory was correct. A giant planet is descending upon our heads. The bad news is our theory was correct. A giant planet is descending upon our heads.

[Hopper] How long do we have?

[Murray] Not long. Supergirl better be close in there.

[Hopper] Come on, El.

[Max] So this is Vecna, right now in the Abyss?

[Eleven] You don’t have to whisper, but yes.

[Max] Okay, so why don’t we just kill him right here? I mean, he seems pretty damn vulnerable.

[Kali] We can’t hurt him here.

[Eleven] We have to enter his mind.

[Max] Isn’t this his mind?

[Eleven] No. It’s my mind.

[Max] What?

[Eleven] Hold on.

[Eleven] Are you okay?

[“ShBoom” by The Chords playing]

[Max] Oh, great. I’ve really missed this.

[loud banging]

[Eleven] Hop. The Abyss is moving. How close are we to Henry’s house?

[Max] Not close.

[Kali] How not close?

[Max] I’m not sure.

[Kali] You said you know his mind backwards and forwards.

[Max] Yeah, I do, but there are a shit ton of memories in here. We’re like Dorothy in Oz, except there’s no Yellow Brick Road. Everything connects, but there are long ways and short ways.

[Eleven] Well, we need a short way.

[Max] Yeah, no shit. Now can you just stop talking while I try and think?

[Harrington] Joyce, this that stupid play of yours?

[young Joyce] Better see you there, Harrington.

[Harrington] Yeah, on a Friday night? You wish.

[Max] Come on, I have an idea.

[Eleven] Is that Joyce?

[Max] Yep. And through that door, Hop’s sneaking a joint. And that way, Mr. Wheeler is feeling up Mrs. Wheeler. I wish we had time to sightsee, but we’ve got a play to catch.

[loud chewing]

[vehicles approaching]

[soldier on walkie-talkie] Three, two, one, go! Yeah, we’re gonna sweep around the back.

[soldier 1] West room’s clear.

[soldier 2] South side!

[on walkie-talkie] We are at location. Negative on…

[Lucas] No, no, no, guys. It’s not lining up.

[Steve] What do you mean it’s not lining up?

[Lucas] Look. The tower needle, it’s not lining up with the rift.

[Steve] Shit.

[Will] If the Abyss hits the needle…

[Mike] This tower’s going down.

[Steve] That’s great. That’s just great.

[Dustin] Hey, Chief, we’re gonna need El to stop this planet. On the sooner side, please.

[Hopper] How soon?

[Dustin] Thirty seconds?

[rhythmic music playing]

[actors chant hauntingly]

[timer beeping]

[Eleven] What are we doing?

[Max] Waiting.

[Kali] For what?

[loud banging]

[Eleven] Three. We need to strike.

[Dustin] Chief, talk to me. What’s going on in there?

[Hopper] I don’t know. I can’t talk to her. I gave her the signal.

[Dustin] Well, nothing’s happening over here, and we’re about to be squashed by a moving planet. So give it again!

[Eleven] We have to go.

[Max] This is the only way. Just trust me.

[rhythmic music grows chaotic]

[Dustin] Shit!

[all screaming]

[Look out! Look out! Look out!

[Max] Now!

[all gasping]

[Robin] Steve!

[Dustin] Steve!

[Steve] grunting, straining]

[Jonathan] Just hold on! I got you. Just hold on!

[Mike] We’re alive! We’re alive!

[Dustin] Shit, I thought you were toast.

[Dustin laughing]

[Lucas] The Abyss stopped! El got him! I repeat, El got the bastard! Yes! Wow! Come on!

[Holly] You came back. You came back for me.

[Max] And I’m not leaving your side, ever again. Not until we’re out of here. All of us.

[Mary] It’s her! It’s the monster! Get up!

[Max] No, I’m not the monster. And I can prove it.

[Nancy] All clear!

[Dustin] Hold this.

[Steve] Hey!

[Jonathan] Easy!

[Steve] You ready? Ready?

[Dustin] Yeah.

[Steve] Okay, easy. Easy. I got you, man.

[Dustin] All right, here goes nothing.

[dark music playing]

[Dustin] Holy shit.

[Nancy] Does this officially make us space travelers?

[Dustin] Interdimensional space travelers.

[Lucas] Suck it, Armstrong.

[Eleven] It’s over.

[Henry] Where are they?

[Eleven] With Max. Safe.

[Henry] Where are they?

[Eleven] I told you. With Max. Far away from here. You can’t believe it, can you? That they would ever see through your lies.

[Debbie] Why can’t he see us?

[Max] Because Mr. Whatsit isn’t the only one with magic powers.

[Eleven] That’s why you take children. Because you think they have weak minds. But they’re smarter than you think.

[Henry] And you? Are you smart? You let yourself get caught. And in here… I will find all the answers I need.

Holy shit.

[Debbie] It’s him. He’s the Black Thing.

[Max] Everything Holly told you is true. He is trying to destroy our world. But he can’t do it, not without you. We have to escape. Right now.

[Henry] Stronger, aren’t we? So am I.

[Eleven] Holly!

[Kali] I can follow her into his mind. We can end our brother, together.

[Holly] Come on!

[grunting]

[Eleven] Now!

[Kali] Hello, brother.

[knife clangs]

[Lucas] Don’t know about you guys, but I was expecting more like…

[Will] Deadly vines?

[Mike] Or monsters?

[Dustin] I assume the hive mind works here too. So if Henry died, so did all his nasty, little minions.

[Will] “If”?

[Dustin] We don’t know what’s going on in the mind. I know El broke the spell and stopped the Abyss, but she could still be fighting him.

[Will] Hey. She’s been training for this. And she’s not alone. She’s got Kali and Max. And I’m sure Henry’s dead. And if he’s not, he will be.

[Mike] Yeah.

[Lucas] Great job keeping the morale up.

[Steve] Hey, man.

[Jonathan] Hey.

[Steve] Thought I was a goner back there. Owe you one.

[Jonathan] Yeah. Look, just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean I want you dead. And I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna need you up here.

[Steve] I don’t blame you, by the way. For not liking me. You know, I can be a real prick sometimes.

[Jonathan] Yeah. I mean, same. Look, Steve, when I was away in California, you were there for Nancy when I couldn’t be. And I thought that, you know, that was why things were off with us. But the truth is our problems had nothing to do with you. It just took me a long time to figure that out. And… to let her go.

[Steve] If we hadn’t been so busy fighting, I probably could’ve saved you a little bit of time, because… I’ve known for a while now me and Nance were never really in the cards. You know, she’s independent. She’s gotta get out there, and… I don’t know. I want…

[Jonathan] Six little nuggets?

[Steve] She told you that? You think it would’ve been better if I’d said four?

[Jonathan] Maybe just not calling them nuggets.

[Steve] Right. Listen, bottom line, end of the day, I… I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. You know, she’s… she’s just really…

[Jonathan] Special.

[Steve] Yeah. I guess we can agree on one thing.

[Jonathan] Yeah, I guess so. I still don’t like you, though.

[Steve] I wouldn’t want it any other way.

[Robin] Hey, lovebirds! You’re gonna wanna check this out.

[Steve] Jesus Christ.

[dark music playing]

[Will] That’s it. That’s what I saw in my vision. The kids are in there.

[Nancy] Then what are we waiting for?

[Derek panting]

[Max] Derek? No! Derek, you have to keep going.

[Derek] I can’t.

Derek, what are you doing? Come on!

[Derek] Just leave me! Save yourselves, you dumbasses!

[Holly] No, don’t be an idiot!

[Derek] I’m not being an idiot!

[Holly] Yes, you are! No, you can’t–

[branches snapping]

[Eleven] Is everyone okay?

[Kali] Yeah, we’re okay.

[Max] Did you find him? Tell me you found him.

[Kali] He just vanished.

[Max] He went back to the real world. He can come back. Will come back.

[Eleven] How far to the cave?

[Max] It’s not far. Come on. Derek, we gotta go. Right now. Go! Run!

[Hopper] Dustin! Lucas! What’s going on? Come on, talk to me!

[mysterious music playing]

[loud clang]

[steam hissing]

[beeping]

[heart monitor beeping]

[Sara] You knew this would happen. Just like you know what will happen to her.

[Kali] Don’t you see, Jane? It’s a cycle. It’s a terrible, vicious cycle. But we can stop it. Tonight.

[Eleven] How?

[Kali] After we kill our brother, after the children are rescued, we don’t leave with the others. We stay on the bridge. When the Upside Down vanishes… so will we. It is the only way, Jane. The only way.

[Vecna] She’s going to do it, Jim. She’s going to end her life.

[Hopper] [ shouting] Show yourself! Show yourself, you lying bastard!

[Vecna] I am many things, but I am not a liar. I have seen into her mind, and now I have seen into yours. What rage it holds! One daughter dead because of you, and soon another.

[Hopper] [shouting] Show yourself!

[Vecna] You are as you fear. You are the curse.

[Hopper] [yelling] No!

[loud pounding]

[Max] Why’s he signaling?

[Eleven] That’s not a signal.

[Kali] Then what is it?

[Kali] Oh, God.

[Max] Holly! Get to the cave!

[gasping]

[Hopper] I got you. Hang on. Hang on! Hold on. Hold on.

[Eleven] What did you do?

[Dr. Kay] Hi there.

Hey, Doc. Kids left out their homework.

[Holly] Max! What happened?

[Derek] She just poofed away like a goddamn ghost!

[Mary] Was it the Black Thing? Did the Black Thing take them?

[Holly] Listen up! We keep to the plan. Get to the cave. The Black Thing can’t hurt us there. So follow me, keep quiet, and stay close. Let’s go! Come on.

[Mary] Come on, guys.

[Holly] Let’s go! Hurry!

[Kali] The kids are all alone in there. You have to get us back to them.

[Eleven] I can’t, not without the bath. He locked us out. We have to get to the Abyss, join the others. We can kill him there.

[Kali] There is no time. The worlds will collide long before we reach him.

[Eleven] Not if Holly and the kids make it to the cave. If Dustin is right, without the kids, Henry can’t do anything.

[Kali] That’s a lot of ifs.

[Eleven] What do you wanna do? We can’t give up, not now.

[Hopper] Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing? Giving up. I know the truth. Henry showed me your plan.

[Eleven] Henry lied to you. He tricked you. He used you, and you fell for it.

[Hopper] Then look me in the eye and tell me. Tell me. Tell me you don’t plan on killing yourself tonight.

[Eleven] We don’t have time for this. We have to go.

[Hopper] I won’t detonate it. I won’t.

[Eleven] What?

[Hopper] I will not detonate the C4, not until I know that you are safe with the others back in Hawkins.

[Eleven] If we kill Henry and don’t destroy the Upside Down, nothing matters.

[Hopper] Which is why I will destroy it once I know that you’re safe.

[Eleven] Why are you doing this?

[Kali] Because Henry’s gotten to him, and he’s lost his mind.

[Eleven] Kali, wait.

[Kali] No. This is bigger than him, Jane. Bigger than any of us.

[Hopper] Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Shoot me.

[Eleven] If I’m alive, then so is Henry. I have to end the cycle.

[Hopper] You will. You will. But not like this. Not with more violence. Not with more pain. There’s already been so much pain. From the moment you were born. Your mother was taken from you. Your childhood was taken from you. You’ve been attacked, manipulated, abused by terrible people. Life has been so unfair to you, so cruel. But you never let it break you. And I need you to fight, kid. I just need you to fight one last time. Fight for the happy days on the other side of this. Fight for… for a world beyond Hawkins. Fight for that day that you have a kid of your own, and you give her the life that you never had. For the day you get so angry because she invites some boy over, and she won’t keep the door open three inches. I know. I know you don’t believe you can have any of this. But I promise you we will find a way to make it real. You will find a way to make it real. Because you have to. Because you deserve it.

[Murray] Jim! Jim! Are you there, Jim? I don’t want to add to the stress, but we’ve got company.

[intense music playing]

[Holly] Come on! Come on! We’re almost there! Keep going! Through this gap right here! Right here! Come on! One by one! Go! Go! Go! Debbie, wait! Have you seen Derek? Derek!

[Debbie] Wait! Holly!

[Holly] Derek!

[Debbie] Holly!

[Holly] Come on! Come on! We got this! We gotta go! Come on! Hurry up! Keep running! Come on, Derek! Come on! Get inside. He’s coming! Go! Come on!

[Holly screams]

[Derek] Holly!

[Holly] Go!

[Derek] Suck my fat one!

[Holly] Come on!

[Debbie] Holly! Are you okay?

[Holly] We’re okay. We’re okay.

[Mary] Was it him? Was it Henry?

[Holly] Yes, but he can’t get us. Okay? Not in here. We’re safe now.

[Mary] Okay.

[Holly] We’re safe.

[Nancy] Why are you staring at me?

[Mike] I’m not! We’re just getting really close, okay? And we don’t know what’s in there, so I think you should be sharing some of that firepower.

[Nancy] You have firepower.

[Mike] Three Molotovs? Come on! Unless you’re okay living with the guilt of my death, I’m gonna need one of those goddamn guns!

[Mike] Holy shit! Thanks!

[Lucas] Those are flares.

[Mike] What?

[Lucas] Flares. She gave you a flare gun, dude.

[panting]

[Mike] What? [echoing] Flare gun? Nancy! Nancy, what the hell is this? Are you serious? You think this is a joke? What the hell am I gonna do with a flare gun?

[unsettling muffled noises]

[Mike] Hey! Will! Will!

[Joyce] Will!

[Mike] Hey! What is it? What’s wrong?

[Will] It’s Henry. He’s alive.

[foreboding music playing]

[grunts painfully]

[man] Resist it. How did you find me? They sent you. Resist it.

[grunting, screaming]

[screaming]

[Mike] Will!

[Mary] What was that? Holly?

[Holly] Stay here.

[Joyce] What’s going on? What do you see?

[Will] It’s Henry. He’s made it into the cave.

[Holly] He’s coming! Go! Go! Up here! Everyone! Come on! Go, go, go, go, go! Hurry! Come on, quickly! Go! Go!

[Will] He’s found them. He’s found Holly and the kids.

[Mike] Okay, what about El? Do you see El? Or Kali? Or Max?

[Will] They’re alone. They’re all alone.

[Holly] Go! Go! Hurry!

[Mary] Come on, guys!

[Robin] Could you stop him? With your powers?

[Will] I can try. Just keep going.

[Joyce] Go! Go!

[soldiers shouting]

[soldier 1] Move! Move! Move!

[soldiers chattering]

[Hopper] Come on! Come on!

[pulsing]

[both scream] Oh, God.

[Holly] Hurry! Let’s go! Quickly! Come on! It’s right up here, this hole! Joshua, down there! Be careful, okay? Keep moving! Thomas, you next!

[intense music builds]

[soldiers chattering]

[Murray] Jim, do you copy? Jim, do you copy? Goddammit!

[Eleven] Kali.

[yelps]

[soldier] Well, well. Look what we got here. Your friends just left you here, huh? Well, that’s not very nice, now is it? Hmm. Get her out of here.

[Hopper] Hey. Hey. I got you. I got you.

[Akers] And I got you.

[Holly] All right, listen. Anything you see in here is not real. It can’t hurt you. Just keep your eyes on me, okay?

[Mary] Okay.

[Debbie] Okay.

[Holly] Come on, let’s go. Keep going. Stay close. Eyes on me, okay? Eyes on me. Just keep moving.

[man wheezing]

[Derek] Holy shitballs!

[Holly] Eyes on me, Derek! Through here. You get to the other side, and you wait for me. Debbie, you first.

[Mary] Thomas, your turn. Come on, guys. Let’s hurry up!

[boy] Let’s go!

[Mary] Come on! Come on! We got this.

[boy] Hurry up, Glenn.

[Mary] Go!

[Kali groaning]

[Akers] Tell me where the other freak is, or this one dies right here, right now.

[Hopper] I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s just us.

[Akers] You think I’m playing a game here? Where is she?

[intense music continues]

[Murray] Okay. Oh, what are you doing, Murray? This is not a good plan. This is crazy. Okay. Here goes absolutely nothing.

[Akers] One last chance. Where is she?

[Hopper] Go to hell.

[Akers] Okay, then.

[yelling]

[grunting]

[all groaning]

[Eleven] Kali. No, no, no! Kali. Kali. Get bandages please.

[Hopper] Keep pressure on the wound.

[Eleven] Kali, look at me. Look at me. Hang in there, okay? I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.

[Kali] I’m not going to make it.

[Eleven] No, don’t say that. You will. You will. You will make it, okay?

[Kali] Don’t cry, Jane. My story… was always going to end here.

[Eleven] No. No, no.

[Henry] Holly. Holly?

[Holly yells]

[Henry grunts]

[Holly groans]

[man] How did you find me?

[young Henry] Please. Please, mister. Don’t shoot.

[man] Who are you?

[young Henry] Henry. Henry Creel. I live near here.

[gasping]

[man] Who sent you?

[young Henry] Nobody sent me. I was in the caves. I heard a scream.

[man] They sent you. They sent you!

[young Henry] You’re just confused. You need a doctor.

[man grunts]

[Henry grunts]

[Will grunts]

[Joyce] What’s happening?

[Will] He’s in a memory now. And he’s scared. He’s so scared.

[man grunting]

[Murray] Oh my God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. I thought you two were goners for a minute there. [chuckles] Oh, what? No hug from the big man, huh? How about a “thank you for destroying the Huey, Murray. That was very brave and… and…” What’s wrong? Wait. Kali. Where’s… Where’s Kali? Oh God. El, I’m… I’m so sorry.

[Eleven] I can jump. I can jump those boulders to the Abyss. I’ll be right there, right at the tree. Shortcut. Henry’s still up there.

[Hopper] If you fall…

[Eleven] I won’t.

[Hopper] If you make it…

[Eleven] I kill him.

[Hopper] Oh, yeah? And then what?

[Eleven] When I was a kid, and you found me in the woods… I was scared. Really scared. I didn’t understand the world. I didn’t understand… people. You took me in. Raised me. Protected me.

[Hopper] Mm.

[Eleven] You became my dad. But I’m not… a kid anymore. And I’m not Sara.

[Hopper sniffles]

[Eleven] She didn’t have a choice to make. But I do. And I need you to trust me to make the right choice. I need you to believe in me.

[young Henry  crying]

[hissing]

[unsettling music playing]

[voices whispering]

Find me. Find me.

[Will screaming]

[gasping for air]

[Henry] Ah!

[man] You must resist it. It will consume you. It will consume all.

[young Henry gasping, panting]

[Will] It wasn’t you. It was never you.

[Henry] [sadly] Leave me alone.

[Will] That’s why the Mind Flayer didn’t want you in the cave. It didn’t want you to remember.

[Henry] I said leave me alone.

[Will] You were just a kid, a kid like me. And it used you. It used you to bring it here. You’re just like me, Henry. A vessel. But you can resist it. Help us fight it. Don’t let it win, Henry, please. Don’t let it win.

[Henry] No. It showed me the truth. It showed me that this world is broken.

[baby crying]

[Henry] That man is broken.

[Will] Don’t listen to it, Henry. It is controlling you right now.

[low growling]

[pulsing]

[Henry] It has never controlled me. And I never controlled it.

[rumbling]

[creaking]

[Henry] Don’t you see, William? I could have resisted it. But I chose to join it.

[dramatic music builds]

[Dustin] Oh my God.

[Henry] It needs… me. And I need it. We…

[loud growling]

[Henry] …are… one.

[roaring]

[Dustin] Run!

[Mike] Run! Run! Run!

[Steve] Dustin!

[screaming]

[Lucas] Come on! Come on!

[Steve] Let’s go!

[Lucas] Come on!

Shit!

[roaring]

[screeching]

[Jonathan] Come on, go! Go, go, go!

[Mike] Run! Run! Run!

[epic music playing]

[Eleven grunting]

[Lucas] She’s hurting it.

[Jonathan] How?

[Mike] She’s fighting Vecna.

[Robin] Hive mind.

[growling]

[foreboding music playing]

[Vecna] So… you truly do want to die.

[Mike] We have to help her.

[Nancy] How?

[Mike] The hive mind works in both ways. If we hurt the Mind Flayer, we hurt Vecna.

[Robin] What, hurt Godzilla over there?

[Dustin] The only way to damage anything of that scale, we spread out. Flank it on all sides. Just chip away at its hit points.

[Steve] “Hit points”? What are you talking about?

[Lucas] There. One of us draws it to that canyon. The rest take positions on those cliffs. Ambush it from above.

[Robin] There’s just one question. Which one of us is bait?

[Nancy] I am.

[Mind Flayer wailing]

[gunfire]

[Nancy] Go! Go!

[Steve] Come on.

[screeching]

[Jonathan] No!

[Robin] No, no! There’s nothing we can do! Come on, please!

[Vecna groaning]

[Eleven yelling]

[exciting music playing]

[Jonathan screaming]

[Robin] Boom!

[Vecna screaming]

[Vecna straining]

[Steve] Look out! Look out!

[squeaking]

[Dustin] This is for Eddie, you son of a bitch!

[Steve] For Eddie!

[moaning]

[straining]

[dramatic music playing]

[Will] I’m not afraid anymore. We’re not… afraid… of you.

[dramatic music builds]

[both screaming]

[agonized screeching]

[Lucas] Yeah!

[Dustin] We gotta go! Run! Shit, shit, shit!

[pulsing slows]

[groaning]

[Nancy] El!

[Eleven] Is everyone okay?

[Nancy] Holly. Holly? Can you hear me? Holly? Holly? Holly, come on. Come on.

[Holly] [gagging] Nancy? Yeah. Yeah, it’s me. I’m here. Yeah, it’s me. I’m here. I’m here.

[Mike] Holly? Hey! Hey.

[Robin] Okay, get it all out. You got this. You’re gonna be okay.

[Derek] Where… Where am I?

[Steve] You’re safe. You’re safe, bud, okay? We’re here to get you home. Yeah. Whoa! I got you, bud. I got you. I got you, bud. It’s okay.

[Vecna coughing, retching]

[coughing continues]

[Joyce] Please, please. Come back to me! [screaming] No!

[Joyce] You fucked with the wrong family.

[Vecna growling]

[Jonathan] Mom, you’re killing him!

[Lucas] Help!

[screaming]

[Nancy] Why don’t you go ahead and go home?

[Eddie] I didn’t run away this time.

[Dustin] Eddie!

[Eddie] I love you, man.

[Eleven] Goodbye, Mike.

[Mike] El! El, where are you?

[Vecna] He did not make me into this. You did.

[Joyce] Will, wake up!

[Will] Go away! I just want this to be over.

[screams]

[Eleven relieved sigh]

[thunder rumbling]

[Dustin] Chief, you copy? Chief?

[Hopper] Yeah, yeah, I copy. What’s going on?

[Dustin] Well, the noseless bastard’s toast. We’re back in the Upside Down, and we have the kids.

[Hopper] How is everybody? Is everybody okay?

[Dustin] Yeah, the party took a hell of a beating, but we’re okay.

[Hopper] What about El?

[Dustin] The whole party. So what do we say you hit the music, old man? Destroy the Upside Down once and for all.  Let’s ditch this hellscape.

[Hopper] Yeah, copy that.

[beeping]

[Murray] All right. The countdown begins.

[“When Doves Cry” by Prince and the Revolution playing]

[Dustin] Hey, stop! You’re gonna get it all over me!

[Lucas] Hey, hey, I’m nasty too. It does stink.

♪ How can you just leave me standing ♪

♪ Alone in a world that’s so cold? ♪

♪ The world is so cold ♪

♪ Maybe I’m just too demanding ♪

♪ Maybe I’m just like my father

Too bold ♪

♪ Maybe you’re just like my mother ♪

♪ She’s never satisfied ♪

♪ Why do we scream at each other? ♪

[wind blowing]

[Steve] What are you doing? You’re gonna let more of that crap in here.

[Robin] It’s either that or pass out. Because you smell like… I actually don’t know what you smell like, but it’s bad.

[horn honking]

[horn honking]

[laughing mischievously]

[both] Assholes.

[Murray] Eh? That’s good. There she is, home sweet home. So, Jimbo, I just gotta ask. How does it feel?

[Hopper] Feels like I need a nap and a smoke.

[Murray] [chuckles] I thought you quit.

[Hopper] Yeah. That’s why it’s gonna taste so good.

[tires popping]

[Robin] Watch out!

[Mike] Everyone okay?

[soldier] Everyone put your hands up! I said, hands up! Move!

[Mike] Hey! Get off me!

[soldier] Get down! Get down! Get your hands up! I said hands up!

[Murray] Oh, wow!

[Robin] Okay, okay.

[Steve] Okay, okay.

[Holly yelling]

[Nancy] No! No! That’s my sister! Let go of me!

[Lucas] Yeah, yeah! Okay, okay!

[pulsing]

[soldier] Let’s go! Move!

[Steve] Dustin!

[Mary] Holly, what’s happening?

[soldier] Everybody up! Everybody up!

[Mike] El? Do you see El?

[Dr. Kay] Sergeant! Where’s the girl?

[soldier] She was right here one second ago.

[Dustin] She must have escaped.

[Mike relieved sigh]

[Soldier] Oh God.

[Dustin] Mike…

[Mike] Get off me! Get off me!

[Mike] You… You have to get out of there! You have to get out!

[Eleven] None of this will ever end, not if I’m still here.

[Mike] No, no. We’ll figure something out. We’ll fight back. We always do.

[Eleven] I need you to talk to the others.

[Mike] No. No.

[Eleven] I need you to thank them for me. For being so kind to me. And teaching me what it means to be a friend.

[Mike] No! Please don’t do this.

[Eleven] Mike, I need you to help them understand my choice.

[Mike] But I don’t. I don’t understand.

[Eleven] I know. But you will. One day, you will. You understand me. Better than anyone. You always have. From the day we met…

[“Purple Rain” by Prince and the Revolution playing]

[Eleven] …you’ve seen me.

[young Mike] Well, my name’s Mike. Short for Michael. Maybe we can call you El. Short for Eleven.

[Eleven] The real me.

♪ I never meant to cause you any sorrow ♪

♪ I never meant to cause you any pain ♪

♪ I only wanted one time

To see you laughing ♪

[Mike] I love you. I love you for exactly who you are.

♪ I only wanted to see you laughing

In the purple rain ♪

[Mike] Please don’t leave me, El. [whispers] Please don’t do this.

Stranger Things - S05E08 - Chapter Eight The Rightside Up - I love you

[Eleven] I will always be with you. I love you.

♪ Purple rain, purple rain ♪

[Eleven] Goodbye, Mike.

♪ Purple rain ♪

[Mike] El! El! El! El! El! El!

[Nancy] Mike!

[Jonathan] Hey, don’t touch her!

[Nancy] Mike!

[Mike] Get off me! Get off me! El! El! El! El!

[Lucas] El, no!

[Dustin] Eleven!

[Mike] El! El! El!

[Hopper] No!

[serene music playing]

[Mike] El! El! El!

[exhales slowly]

[loud metallic screeching]

[loud whooshing]

[silence falls]

[distant exhale]

[somber piano music playing]

[rhythmic beating]

Check it out?

Yeah.

[“Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac playing]

[Robin] Hi there, strangers. It’s been a while. I wonder… I mean… Do you guys… even remember me? Okay, maybe I’m being too modest. I mean, let’s be honest, who could forget this soothing voice with a trace of a Debra Winger rasp? That’s right. It’s me, Robin Buckley, aka Rockin’ Robin. Jimmy “Fast Hands” was kind enough to let me back into the booth for a guest stint, but you’re gonna have to cut me some slack because I am feeling rusty. I mean, what do I even talk about? You know? My go-to subjects are as out of date as, well, as my friend’s bowl cut. I mean, there’s no soldiers, no fences, no Big Brother cameras, and the only Big Mac I can find is a Smush Double Patty at Mickey D’s. People are happy and smiling and going to the movies. But hey, who doesn’t wanna see Indy’s new adventure?

[belching effect]

[Robin] Shit. Uh…

[whip crack effect]

[Robin] There we go. Sorry about that. My partner in crime ditched me. But, well, as far as excuses go, he had a pretty good one.

[Steve] Let’s go, boys! Baseball ready! Baseball ready!

[Robin] Now…

[Steve] No mental mistakes!

[Robin] …I am almost too superstitious to say this, and I’m knocking on some wood here, but I think the Hawkins curse has finally lifted.

[Steve] All right, Thomas. Let’s go. Here we go, man!

[Robin] But at the same time…

[Steve] Let’s go.

[Robin] …this isn’t even the Hawkins that I remember. It feels so different. But maybe it’s not the town. Maybe it’s me that’s changed. We probably all have. At least, that’s certainly true of my friends. [chuckles] Who, by the way, are graduating today. That’s right, Hawkins High class of ’89 is walking the podium today. I hope you all come out and support them. I know I will. Because if anyone deserves a standing O, they do. So to get their party started, a new favorite.

[“Here Comes Your Man” by Pixies playing]

[Lucas] You break any more bones, you’re on your own. Because I am done with hospitals.

[Max] Maybe I should be on my own. I mean… what is going on here?

[Lucas] What? We’re graduating today.

[Max] In two hours. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.

[Lucas] Hmm.

[Max] Okay, now you’re definitely getting ahead of yourself.

[Lucas] I’m sorry. You’re just looking, uh, super sexy right now.

[Max] And you’re looking super dorky.

♪ Here comes your man ♪

♪ Here comes your man ♪

[Vicki] Ugh, gag me with a spoon.

♪ Here comes your man ♪

[Dustin] You gonna take the picture? Already? Please?

[Claudia Henderson sobbing]

[Dustin] Ma, it’s okay. I’m only a day’s drive away.

[Claudia] I know.

[Dustin] I’m gonna come home every chance that I get.

[Claudia] IOkay.

[Dustin] I’m gonna call you so much that you’re gonna wanna change numbers.

[Claudia] IOkay.

[Dustin] Okay?

[chuckles]

[Dustin] Okay. I love you.

[Claudia] II love you.

[Dustin] Do you wanna take more pictures?

[Claudia] IYeah.

[Dustin] Okay.

[Claudia] IOoh, so handsome. My valedictorian.

[both laughing]

[Claudia] ISuperman!

[Jonathan] All right, rolling.

[Will] Happy graduation.

[Hopper] Happy graduation.

[Will] That’s nice.  Class of ’89.

[Hopper] Yeah.

[Jonathan] Shit. Hold on. No, no.

[Hopper] Oh God. No.

[Joyce] Let him hang it back up.

[Hopper] Leave the bedsheet.

[Jonathan] No, no, no. There’s too much light. It needs diffusion.

[Hopper] It’s not The Godfather.

[Jonathan] I know it’s not.

[Will] Let him hang it up.

[Hopper] You get one more take.

[phone ringing]

[Hopper] It’s been all day ’cause of the artist…

[Joyce] Hello?

[Karen] Joyce. This is Karen. Have you seen Mike?

[Joyce] No, I haven’t seen him.

[Hopper sighs]

[Joyce] We haven’t seen him since last night.

[Joyce] It’s Karen. She can’t find Mike.

♪ Here comes your man ♪

[Mike] El! El! El!

[Hopper] Hey, kid. Thought I might find you here. Your mom’s freaking out. Can’t say I blame her. I mean… I don’t know if you remember, but we do have a history of kids going missing in this town.

[Mike] She won’t understand. She’ll never understand why I can’t do it, why I can’t walk the stage. It’d be like a lie. Like I’m okay with moving on. And I’m not. I’m not okay with it. I had this plan. That me and El, we were gonna go someplace far away, and… and no one would find us. And I said this thing about going somewhere with three waterfalls. I mean, I… I don’t even know if she believed me. Who would? Three waterfalls? I mean, that’s so stupid, childish. It was a fantasy plan. I should’ve had a real one. I just didn’t… I didn’t think that she would just…

[Hopper] Hey, hey. This… It’s not your… It’s not your fault. What happened is not your fault. El made her choice. Now it’s time for you to make yours. And the way I see it, you got two roads ahead of you. You got one road where you keep blaming yourself for what happened. You keep going over it in your head, what you could’ve done differently. You push people away, and you suffer, because that’s what you think you deserve.

[Mike sighs]

[Hopper] And then there’s another road… where you find a way to accept what happened. Find a way to accept her choice. Doesn’t mean you gotta like it. Doesn’t mean you gotta understand it. And never think about it. You just accept it. And you live the best goddamn life you can. I’ve been down that first road before. And I don’t recommend it. And as for El… I think you know what she would have wanted for you.

[“Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1” playing]

[audience cheering]

[Steve] I don’t know. Me?

[Robin] Yeah.

[Steve] Never been.

[Robin] Me neither. But I think she’d like it.

[Principal Higgins] Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to the graduation ceremony for the class of ’89.

[Holly] Mom! Mom!

[Karen] Mike.

[Mike] I’m sorry, Mom. I panicked.

[Karen] You don’t have to explain. God, look at you. You’re all grown up. I’m so proud of you. I’m so, so proud.

[Mike] I love you, Mom.

[Karen] I love you, baby.

[Principal Higgins] And now it’s my great pleasure to introduce someone who has truly excelled during their time here. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome for your valedictorian, Dustin Henderson.

[Steve] Yeah, buddy!

[Mr. Clarke] Dustin!

[Lucas] That’s my friend!

[Mike] Whoo!

[Dustin] [clears throat] I just wanted a normal childhood. But that childhood was stolen from me. It was stolen from us. And this past year, if you wanna know the truth, I’ve been pretty pissed off about it.

[Ted Wheeler] Language.

[Dustin] But then I thought back to the past six years, and I realized that, even though there was a lot of bad, there was so much good too. There’s this game I like to play. It’s called Dungeons & Dragons.

[cheering]

[Lucas] Yup!

[Hopper] Jesus Christ.

[Dustin] And in this game, there are two types of chaos classes, chaotic good and chaotic bad. Now, bad chaos brings anarchy, destruction, war. But good chaos can bring innovation, change. And this school, frankly, it needed to change. Because we were so divided into the jocks, the nerds, freaks. And in the chaos, all those walls broke down, and I made new friends. I made friends who were never even supposed to be my friends. This wasn’t just me. I saw this happen with so many others. When you get to know people who are different from you, you begin to learn more about yourself. You change. You grow. I’m a better person now. I’m a better person because of them, because of my friends. So, I’m not pissed off anymore. But I am worried. Worried, because now that the chaos is over, Principal Higgins and every square like him is gonna do their damnedest to put everything back in order. And I don’t want order, which is why it’s hypocritical that I’m wearing this thing. I mean, we look ridiculous. What is this? We look like Roman senators. I mean, it’s not who I am. I don’t think it’s who any of us are. So, honestly, just screw it.

[“The Trooper” by Iron Maiden playing]

[Higgins] Henderson.

Yes!

[Dustin] Screw the school.

[Higgins] Henderson! Henderson!

[Dustin] Screw the system.

[Higgins] That’s enough!

[Dustin] Screw conformity. Screw everyone and everything…

[Claudia] Yes!

[Dustin] …trying to hold you back and tear us apart, because this, this is our year!

[all] Yeah!

[Will] Yeah!

[Lucas] Yeah!

[Max] Whoo!

[Steve] Whoohoo!

♪ The bugle sounds, the charge begins ♪

♪ But on this battlefield, no one wins ♪

♪ The smell of acrid smoke

And horses’ breath ♪

♪ As I plunge on into certain death ♪

[Holly] Whoo-hoo!

[Higgins] Settle down! Back in your seats now! Summer school for all of you!

[distorting]

[Higgins] And detention!

[pulsing]

[Mike] Dustin!

[Lucas] Dustin!

[Will] Dustin!

[Mike] You’re a madman. You’re an absolute madman.

[Lucas] Higgins totally shit his pants.

[Dustin] What’s he gonna do, expel me?

[Lucas] You’re crazy.

[Stacey] Hey.

[Dustin] Hey, Stacey.

[Stacey] I just wanted to say what you did up there was pretty badass.

[Dustin] Oh. Thanks. I was kind of just going for a bit of a Belushi thing. But if he was in like a Hughes film. But I don’t know. Does that make sense?

[Stacey] Yeah.

[Dustin] That’s okay if you…

[Stacey] No, totally.

[Dustin] Yeah?

[Stacey] Mmhmm. Okay. Cool.

[Dustin] Why’d I say that?

[Will] Dude…

[Stacey] Hey, so I’m having a party later tonight. You guys should come.

[Will] [laughs] Wait.

[Dustin] Did that just happen?

[Will] Should we go?

[Lucas] Is that rhetorical?

[Mike] No. Screw that. I got a better idea. Way better.

[Jonathan] I’m just saying, I think you guys would really dig New York.

[Robin] Yeah.

[Steve] How much is rent?

[Robin] Thinking about moving?

[Jonathan] You wanna come live with me?

[Steve] You’re serious? Come on. I mean, look at this place. The sunset, the view. Whoo! You guys are seriously telling me you don’t miss any of this?

[all] Mm.

[all] No.

[Steve] The forest, the quarry, Family Video, the Hawk?

[all] No.

[Jonathan] No, I couldn’t come back here if you paid me a million bucks.

[Steve] Mm. You’d need a lot less than a million, I’ll tell you that. Prices are still way down. There’s actually this rad place over in Forest Hills. I can’t quite afford it yet, but I’m close. And that is on a coach’s salary.

[Robin] Don’t forget sex ed teacher.

[Steve] That’s true.

[Nancy] They have you teaching sex ed?

[Steve] It’s part of the gig.

[all chuckle]

[Robin] If I had a question about an STD, you’d be the first person I’d come to.

[Steve] Thank you? No, I love it. I love teaching these kids, you know? I get to teach them about the miracle of life, and how to not start it accidentally. And this time, I’m in control of the grades.

[Nathan] And why do I feel like you go pretty easy there?

[Steve] I have a strict A policy.

[Nancy] Uh-huh.

[Steve] B, if you’re a real knucklehead. That’s about as low as I go.

[Jonathan] Hell, can you come and teach at NYU?

[Steve] I mean, what, I’m gonna grade your movie about capitalism, cannibalism, or whatever?

[Jonathan] No, it’s anticapitalist. The Consumer. It’s a metaphor. The more she eats, the hungrier she gets.

[Nancy] Right.

[Steve] Okay.

[Jonathan] Well, I mean, it’s a working…

[Nancy] Obviously.

[Jonathan] That’s the working title.

[Nancy] It’s good.

[Jonathan] Mmhmm.

[Steve] Now, Smith. Smith, I… I would consider.

[Robin] Oh, really? Is it the lectures on Steinem that draw you or the high concentration of women?

[Steve] Can’t it be both?

[all chuckle]

[Robin] What about you, Nance? How are the babes at Emerson?

[Nancy] Oh, um… I wouldn’t know. I dropped out.

[Steve] No way. What?

[Robin] Ho, ho, ho! I knew it. You became a Navy SEAL.

[Nancy] Oh no, not quite. I… I took a job at the Herald. Which… It sounds fancier like that. It’s a trainee position. But I don’t know. I was just sick of school and thought I’d maybe get out there and… try the real world.

[Robin] Nancy Wheeler. Still full of surprises. You know, there actually is something that I miss about this place. I miss this. Just… us. Hanging out. I miss you guys. I really like my new friends. But it’s… It’s not the same.

[Jonathan] I don’t think it ever will be.

[Robin cries softly]

[melancholy music playing]

[Steve] Okay, Jesus.

[all laughing]

[Steve] You’re killing me, man. Let’s do something about it. I don’t know. We could… meet up. Once a month, here.

[Nancy] Yeah, or… or maybe somewhere just more neutral. Like…

[Steve] Okay.

[Nancy] What’s a city between Hawkins, and Massachusetts, New York?

[Jonathan] Louisville.

[Steve] Uh, Philly.

[Robin] Philly. I have an uncle who lives in Philly. He’s weird, but he’s got a big house.

[Jonathan] Does it have a basement?

[Robin] Yeah.

[Jonathan] And a boiler room?

[Steve] A boiler room?

[Robin] Yeah…

[Jonathan] Oh my God, it’s perfect. You know, for the hideout. You know, where she traps all the men and then burns their bodies. The Consumer!

[Nancy] The Consumer!

[Jonathan] What do you think I’m talking about?

[Robin] I thought you were trying to kill us.

[Jonathan] Oh no.

[Nancy] Okay, okay. Yeah, so we’ll meet at Robin’s weird uncle’s house, and we’ll drink and reminisce and make Jonathan’s anti-capitalist cannibal movie. Starting next month.

[Robin] Yeah, I’m in.

[Jonathan] I’m in.

[“Sweet Jane” by Cowboy Junkies playing]

[Steve] To nothing ever keeping us apart.

[Robin] Including overbearing significant others.

[Nancy] School.

[Jonathan] Mortgages.

[Robin] And kids.

[Steve] Cheers.

[all] Cheers.

[Nancy] Yeah, Steve. Kids?

[Steve] I don’t know, guys. I think Kristen might be the one.

[all laughing]

[Nancy] So, didn’t you say the same thing about Dawn?

[Steve] No.

[Robin] And Margaret.

[Nancy] And Julie.

[Steve] I did not say that about Julie. She was drama from the start.

[Jonathan] Drama? Like, is she a good actor?

[Steve] Yeah, you do not wanna…

[Jonathan] I mean, I’m looking. No, no, no. Not there.

[Robin] Yeah, have her come along.

[all continue chattering happily]

[relaxing music playing]

[waiter] Chief. Mrs. Byers. Always a pleasure. Are we ready to order?

[Hopper] Uh, yeah. Yeah. We’re gonna have a bottle of the Cabernet Sauv…

[Joyce] Sauvignon.

[Hopper] Yeah. Cabernet Sauvignon. And we’ll have some caviar to start. And we will have two of the filet specials, however the chef would like to prepare them.

[waiter] Very good, sir.

[Hopper] Okay.

[Joyce] Hop!

[Hopper] What? It’s a big day. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime day. You raised two beautiful boys into incredible men. They had a lot more to overcome than just puberty. You should be happy. You should be proud.

[Joyce] I am, but… It’s just…

[Hopper] It’s gonna be quiet in that cabin.

[Joyce] It’s just us and the crickets.

[Hopper] Ugh, the crickets. Yeah. I don’t like the sound of those crickets anymore.

[Hopper] Thank you.

[Hopper] I wish, uh… I wish it was the sound of something different. Maybe, um, squawk of seagulls or, uh, waves gently lapping on the beach.

[Joyce] [chuckles] Well, that sounds nice.

[Hopper] Could be real. I’m just saying there’s nothing tying us down here anymore.

[Joyce] But you seem to think our bank account is bigger than it is.

[Hopper] Could be. I got a call from my buddy in the New York days. Montauk’s looking for a new chief of police. Town’s up and coming. It’d be 20% more. I know that’s not big enough for a mansion or anything, but it’s… significant. Kids would be closer. Just a little quick trip into the city. You and me? We could start again. Fresh. Together.

[Joyce] Are you kidding?

[Hopper] We don’t have to figure out anything tonight. We don’t have to decide anything, but, um… That’s not true.

[Joyce] What…?

[Hopper] There’s one thing I would like to decide tonight.

[rendition of “At Last” by Etta James playing]

[Joyce] Who’s…? [gasping]

♪ At last ♪

[Hopper] Joyce Byers.

♪ My love has come along ♪

[Hopper] Will you spend the rest of your life with a tired, grumpy, stubborn old man who loves you very much?

[Joyce] Yes. I will.

[patrons exclaiming]

[all applauding]

♪ Oh, well, at last ♪

♪ The skies above are blue ♪

♪ My heart was wrapped up in clover ♪

♪ The night that I looked at you ♪

♪ At last ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

[Mike] A hushed quiet falls over the town. Frightened villagers watch from rooftops and alleyways, wondering, how will this all end? The sound of boots echo across the square as Strahd von Zarovich strides up to Dustin the Bard.

Don’t do this.

[Mike] The vampire lord lunges.

No!

[Mike] Plunging its fangs into his throat. Onlookers gasp as his body collapses. His lute clatters across the cobblestone, letting out a final mournful note.

Son of a bitch!

[Mike] A lone hero remains, Will the Wise, Barovia’s last and only hope.

[Lucas] Cast Meteor Swarm. Take out the bastard.

[Will] I can’t.

Why not?

He’s in the range of the suppression stone. No magic.

Then just whack him with your staff.

And inflict six points of damage.

He has 30 HP left.

[Max] Okay, so now what?

[sighs] That’s it.

Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing?

Checkmate.

We lost.

[Max] So after all of that, Strahd von Douchebag just wins?

This game is bullshit!

I agree.

[Max] Stupid, goddamn waste of time!

[mimics Dracula] Strahd takes great pleasure in your anger.

[laughs evilly]

[Mike] Time to join your friends, sorcerer.

Just get it over with and roll.

I don’t wanna hear his shit anymore.

All right.

[Dustin] The mage. From the Abbey of St. Markovia. She said we can summon her.

[Lucas] When at our lowest depth.

[Max] The incantation to summon her. What’s the incantation?

[Will] What is the incantation?

[Dustin] Will! Will!

[Will] “Oh, mage! Arise and end our fall from darkened paths and secrets deep. Come forth and help your promise keep.”

[Mike] Nothing happens.

[Will] Come on, man.

[Dustin] Why? Then why do we even have the incantation?

[Lucas] What?

[Mike] Wait. Wait, wait. A purple light begins to shine through the mist. Growing brighter and brighter. It’s a portal. And out of this portal steps… the Mage of St. Markovia!

[overlapping excited shouting]

[Mike] The mage holds out her hands, and shoom, a beam of powerful light shoots forward. Strahd lets out a piercing… [screeches] …as his body shrivels, burns, and turns to ash.

[Dustin] Bada-boom! How do you like that?

[Will] Whoo!

[Mike] The misty gloom that shrouds the village of Barovia evaporates, and you are met with cheers from the townsfolk. In honor of your courage and bravery, they give you medals, and you are all awarded 1,000 pieces of gold each.

[all exclaiming]

[Mike] Flush with wealth and honor, you live out the rest of your lives in comfort and in happiness.

[all] Aaaaah!

[Mike] The end.

[Lucas] Great campaign.

[Will] Good campaign, buddy. Great campaign.

[Max] Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. That’s it? Comfort and happiness? Could you be more trite? I thought you were some kind of master storyteller or something.

[Lucas] Oh.

[Dustin snickering]

[Mike] Well, it is true, the comfort and happiness part. But happiness can be found in many places. The knight and the zoomer, they retire from battle, and they settle down in a small village. With each passing day, their love grows stronger.

[warm, hopeful music playing]

[Mike] The bard, craving knowledge, makes his way to the Mage’s Guild of Enclave, where he spends his days in their vast library.  Though deeply devoted to his studies…

[laughing] Hey, buddy.

[Mike] …he still makes time for the occasional adventure.

[laughs softly]

[Mike] As for Will the Wise, he travels far and long to the bustling city of Vallaki. It’s overwhelming at first. So very different from the village where he spent his youth. But it isn’t long before he finds his place there.

Hey!

[Mike] And with that, deep happiness and acceptance.

[Will] And the storyteller? What about him?

[Mike] The storyteller keeps telling stories, stories inspired by his friends. One day, he hopes their tales of grand adventure will spread far and wide across the land so all can know of their great bravery. But there is a story that he can never tell. The story of the mage. Or at least not the real story.

[Max] The real story?

[Mike] When she cast Sunbeam.

[Mike] Get off me!

[Eleven] Goodbye, Mike.

[Mike] She expended the last of her energy, and she vanished.

[Mike] El!

[Mike] But has anyone asked themselves how she cast that spell?

[Dustin] The suppression stone.

[Will] She couldn’t have used her magic.

[pulsing]

[soldiers shouting]

[Mike] In the excitement, no one even noticed. But you see, the mage is very clever. A cleverness only matched by her sister, who, upon hearing the pleads of the paladin, had a change of heart.

[Kali] Don’t cry, Jane. My story… was always going to end here. But yours doesn’t have to.

[Mike] Together, the sisters devised a plan, a plan to protect the mage from the Order of the Black Hand, who remained hellbent on stealing her powers. So in order to trick them, she had to make everyone, including her friends, believe that she was dead. And so the sister cast a spell from far away. Safe from the power of the suppression stone.

[Mike] El! Do you see El?

[Mike] A spell of invisibility.

[grunting]

[Mike] Once the mage escaped, the sister cast one final spell. The mage you saw die was not real. She was an illusion. [gasping]

[Max] Where did she go?

[Mike] No one knows. No one will ever know. But I’d… I’d like to imagine that she’s in a beautiful land, somewhere far away.

[hopeful music rises]

[Mike] She finds a small town to call home. Safe from the danger of the Black Hand. And it is here, at last, that she finds peace. That she finally finds happiness.

[Max] And this is just a theory, right?

[Will] How do we know it’s true?

[Mike] We don’t. Not for sure. But I choose to believe that it is. I believe.

[Dustin] I believe.

[Lucas] I believe.

[Max] I believe.

[Will] I believe.

[door opens]

[Joyce] Guys! What’s going on? The lasagna’s getting cold!

[Mike] Yeah, we… we just finished. We’ll be right up.

[Debbie] Holly, how do we play this game?

[Mike] Jesus, watch out!

[Holly] Jeez yourself! You said you’d be done an hour ago!

[Debbie] Look, it’s our own little castle.

[Holly] I’ll look in the manual for like a starter campaign in here.

[Joshua] Why do you get to be Dungeon Master?

[Holly] Because this was my idea, and this is my house!

[Mary] Holly, you told me this was not going to be nerdy! This is super nerdy!

[Holly] Put him down!

[Derek] Did you just fart?

[Joshua] No.

[Derek] Something smells. I’m gonna puke.

[Joshua] It’s just old pizza.

[Derek] Old pizza doesn’t smell like crusty ass!

[Joshua] Blame it on the girls.

[Mary] Excuse me, girls don’t fart. If they do, it smells like roses.

Listen to Holly!

You get these back when you focus!

I can’t see!

Okay! You can be a halfling! A halfling!

You want me to walk around like this and fall over?

[Holly] No, you’re sitting down and focusing!

[Derek] Give me my glasses back!

[chattering continues]

[“Heroes” by David Bowie playing]

♪ I ♪

♪ I wish you could swim ♪

♪ Like the dolphins

♪ Like dolphins can swim ♪ ♪

♪ Though nothing ♪

♪ Nothing will keep us together ♪

♪ We can beat them forever and ever ♪

♪ Oh, we can be heroes ♪

♪ Just for one day ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I will be king ♪

♪ And you ♪

♪ You will be queen ♪

♪ Though nothing ♪

♪ Will drive them away ♪

♪ We can be heroes ♪

♪ Just for one day ♪

♪ We can be us ♪

♪ Just for one day ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I can remember ♪

♪ I remember ♪

♪ Standing ♪

♪ By the wall ♪

♪ By the wall ♪

♪ And the guns ♪

♪ Shot above our heads ♪

♪ Over our heads ♪

♪ And we kissed ♪

♪ As though nothing could fall ♪

♪ Nothing could fall ♪

♪ And the shame ♪

♪ Was on the other side ♪

♪ Oh, we can beat them ♪

♪ Forever and ever ♪

♪ Then we can be heroes ♪

♪ Just for one day ♪

♪ We can be heroes ♪

♪ We can be heroes ♪

♪ We can be heroes ♪

♪ Just for one day ♪

[synth theme music playing]