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S3E02

The Mall Rats

The group gathers at Starcourt Mall as strange events unfold.

📖 Transcript

Stranger Things – S03E02 – Chapter Two: The Mall Rats | Full transcript

[faint rattling]

[rattling stops]

[Billy screams]

[creature snarls]

[bubbling, hissing]

[Billy grunts]

[panting]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[panting]

[dial-pad beeping]

[line ringing]

[line rings, clicks]

[female voice] 911, what’s your emergency?

[Billy grunts, screams]

[distorted rat’s squeals]

[sloshing noise]

[Billy screams]

[female voice distorts]

Is someone there? Hello?

[panting]

[distant footsteps]

[panting]

[footsteps intensify]

What do you want?

Hey! I said, what do you want?

I said, what do you want?

[thunderclap]

[footsteps echoing]

[gasps]

[thunderclap]

[theme music playing]

[birds chirping]

[sharp exhale]

Hey. Is everything okay?

Yes.

[phone ringing]

Hello, this is the Wheelers.

[Eleven speaks indistinctly]

Yeah, just a sec.

Mike!

Phone!

Okay!

Hello?

[sighs]

It’s 9:32. Where are you?

Sorry, I
 I was just about to call.

I, um
 can’t see you today.

What
 Why not?

It’s my Nana.

She’s very sick.

But Hop said that your Nana was okay, that it was a false alarm. Yeah. That’s
 what
 we thought it was at first, but then she took a real turn for the worse.

Oh.

Yeah. We think she might
 die.

What?

Mom! Get off the phone!

[Mike] How many times?!

Did Nana call?!

No, Mom! Just get off the phone!

[scoffs]

[sighs] Sorry about that.

Was that your mom?

Yeah. She’s so upset, she’s making no sense.

Because we have to go to the nursing home.

To see Nana.

You can come over after?

No!

I mean, I
 I just think
 I need to be alone today.

With my
 feelings?

Do you lie?

What? No.

Friends don’t lie.

What, Mom?

My mom’s calling me. Better go.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Miss you already. Bye!

Hey.

What’s going on?

[“You Don’t Mess Around With Jim” playing]

â™Ș And they say

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape â™Ș

â™Ș You don’t spit into the wind â™Ș

â™Ș You don’t pull the mask on

That old Lone Ranger â™Ș

â™Ș And you don’t mess around with Jim â™Ș

[humming instrumental break]

â™Ș Yeah I’m lookin’ for the king

Of 42nd Street â™Ș

â™Ș He drivin’ a drop top Cadillac â™Ș

â™Ș Last week he took all my money

And it may sound funny â™Ș

â™Ș But I come to get my money back â™Ș

â™Ș And everybody say Jack
 â™Ș

[door bell chimes]

Emotions have been shared.

Boundaries have been set.

Order
 has been
 restored.

Wait, wait, it worked?

Uh, this is the first day in six long, excruciating months that they will not be seeing each other.

Yes, I think it worked! Yes!

[Hopper laughs]

No, stop.

It’s all you.

I’m a puppet, you’re the master.

So you remembered everything?

[laughs] Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I had to improvise a little bit, you know?

It turns out, getting to Mike, now that was the key.

And you didn’t yell at him?

I’ll tell you everything over dinner.

I was thinking, you know, Enzo’s, tonight, 7:00.

Hey, before you say no, I’d
 I’d like to make one thing crystal clear.

This is not a date.

Wait, a date?

You never said anything about a date.

I know, I didn’t say anything about a date.

I just wanted to clear it up in case there was any confusion on your part.

There’s not.

Great.

It’s just two friends getting together for a nice dinner.

I mean, we’ve earned it, haven’t we?

I can’t be out late.

You’ll be home by 9:00.

8:00.

8:30, I’ll pick you up.

I’ll meet you there.

7:00. Enzo’s. Meeting there.

Deal.

[static squawks]

[Powell] Hey, Chief, you copy? Chief!

Yeah, I’m a little busy right now.

[crowd] Recall the mall!

Yeah, well, I’m busier here.

Recall the mall!

You wanna keep your job tomorrow, I think you need to get your ass to Town Hall. Now.

[sighs]

[Hopper chuckles]

Duty calls.

[clears throat] Oh! Jeez.

Cleanup on aisle five.

Bye.

See you tonight.

[indistinct chatter in background]

Oh, shit, shit.

Whoopsie-daisy!

[guffaws]

Careful there, Nancy Drew. Careful.

[men snicker]

[Bruce] Pouring coffee’s a tough gig, girl.

[men laugh]

[knocking]

And here you are, two creams, two sugars.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Of course.

Tom?

Hm?

I really hate to ask this, but do you think one of the other girls could run and grab lunch today?

They’re needed at their desks.

I know, I just, um


I really need to go to the doctor.

I’ve been having some
 um
 girl problems.

[coughs nervously]

Oh, come on! The light!

Let’s go.

Look, I just


I just don’t know if this is such a good idea anymore.

Really? Because I feel like it’s the best idea I’ve had all summer.

Look, all I’m saying is, what harm is there in asking?

The harm in asking is that Tom will say no.

We ask for forgiveness, not permission.

And if this story’s as good as I think it’s gonna be, then Tom won’t care.

In fact, he’ll thank us.

Or the old lady is nuts and the story blows up in our face and Tom fires us.

And then we never have to work at this shithole again.

[“Get Up and Go” playing]

â™Ș Go, oh, oh â™Ș

â™Ș Oh, oh, oh â™Ș

â™Ș So get up and go â™Ș

â™Ș If you’re so tired of moving slow â™Ș

â™Ș Go â™Ș

â™Ș Go â™Ș

â™Ș Get up and go! â™Ș

Have a nice day.

[woman] Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

I’m Dustin.

I’m Robin.

Pleasure to meet you. Uh, is
 is he here?

Is who here?

[nautical tune playing]

Henderson.

[laughs]

Henderson! He’s back!

He’s back!

I’m back!

You got the job!

I got the job! [imitates trumpet] Hey! Oh!

[imitating lightsabers clashing]

[groans, laughs]

Ah!

How many children are you friends with?

[sighs]

No, no. No way.

Hotter than Phoebe Cates? No.

Mmhmm.

Brilliant, too. And she doesn’t even care that my real pearls are still coming in.

She says kissing is better without teeth.

Wow. Yeah, that’s great.

Proud of you, man.

That’s ro
 That’s kinda romantic.

That’s like
 Wow.

Hm.

So do you really just get to eat as much of this as you want?

Yeah. I mean, sure. It’s not really a good idea for me, though.

I gotta keep in shape for the ladies.

Yeah, and how’s that working out for you?

Ignore her.

She seems cool.

She’s not.

So, where are the other knuckleheads?

They ditched me yesterday.

No.

My first day back.

Can you believe that shit?

Whoa. Seriously?

I swear to God. Mm.

They’re gonna regret it, though, big time, when they don’t get to share in my glory.

Glory? What glory?

So, last night, we’re trying to get in contact with Suzie


Oh. Mm.

Mmhmm?

Mmhmm.

And, uh


[woman] 
and the orange sherbert and chocolate.

[indistinct chatter]

[whispers] I intercepted a secret Russian communication.

What?

[clicks tongue] Uh


[inhales deeply]

[softly] I intercepted a secret Russian communication.

Just speak louder.

[loudly] I intercepted a secret Russian communication!

Jeez, shh. Yeah, okay, that’s what I thought you said.

What
 What does that mean?

It means, Steve, we could be heroes.

True American heroes.

Huh.

Mmhmm?

American heroes.

Just think, you could have all the ladies you want and more.

More?

More.

I like more.

Mmhmm.

What’s the catch?

No catch, I just need your help.

With what?

Translation.

[upbeat punk rock playing]

Shit!

Hi.

Hi?

Can we talk?

And then he said he
 he missed me.

And then he just hung up.

He’s a piece of shit.

What?

Mike doesn’t have jack shit to do today, and his Nana obviously isn’t sick.

I guarantee you, him and Lucas are playing Atari right now.

But friends don’t lie.

Yeah, well, boyfriends lie.

All the time.

She knows I’m lying. She knows I’m lying.

I don’t even understand. Why lie?

Hopper.

He threatened me.

Did he say he’d kill you?

What? No.

So then, what’s the big deal?

The big deal is if I don’t do what he says, then he’ll stop me from seeing El.

Like, permanently.

You don’t understand, Lucas. He’s crazy.

[sighs] He’s lost his mind.

Hey, guys, I’m almost set up here.

I had no choice, Lucas.

I really had no choice.

I just wish you’d consulted me, because the way you handled this, you’re in deep shit.

You’re going to stop calling him.

You’re going to ignore his calls.

As far as you’re concerned, he doesn’t exist.

Doesn’t exist?

He treated you like garbage.

You’re gonna treat him like garbage.

Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Give him the medicine.

Mmhmm. And if he doesn’t fix this, if he doesn’t explain himself, dump his ass.

[groans]

I’m not gonna lie, it’s gonna be bad.

[groans]

But
 you can fix this.

It’s just one little mistake.

I’ve made hundreds, thousands.

Max has dumped me five times.

But what have I done?

Huh? Have I despaired? No.

I’ve marched back into battle, and I’ve won her back every single freaking time.

How?

I’ll show you.

Come on.

Come on.

Where are we going?

To have some fun.

There’s more to life than stupid boys, you know.

Wait, guys!

I’m still here!

[door opens]

Guys?

[boys yelling]

[“Matter of Love” playing]

[whistle blows]

Hey! No dunking, Curtis.

No
 dunking.

God, even her voice annoys me.

Nails on a chalkboard.

Don’t worry, ladies, ten more minutes till showtime.

Liz, will you get my back?

â™Ș I’ve done it again â™Ș

â™Ș I’ve let you in â™Ș

â™Ș To tear my heart in two
 â™Ș

Hey, Jill, I gotta use the restroom.

Will you watch Holly for me?

Sure thing, hon.

Thanks.

Billy?

Billy?

I
 [sighs] I understand if you’re angry with me.

I just


I wanted to explain


[Billy exhales sharply]

[echoing] 
why I didn’t come last night.

[Billy murmurs]

It’s not you, it’s just


I have a family.

[heartbeat pounding]

And I can’t do anything that will hurt them.

You can understand that, right?

But I shouldn’t have said that


[grunts]

[Karen’s voice echoes] Billy.

[breathing rapidly]

Billy


Please, will you talk to me?

Stay away from me, Karen.

[electricity crackling]

[Billy grunts]

[panting]

[electric static hissing]

[distorted kids’ voices]

Looking good, Billy.

[voice echoes]

[both] Afternoon, Billy.

[voices echo]

[Billy sighs]

[breathes loudly]

[sharp exhale]

[nautical tune playing]

Mmm.

Can I try the peppermint stick?

Haven’t you already tried the peppermint stick?

Yes, and I’d like to try it again.

Steve!

[male voice speaking Russian on recording]

[waltz tune plays in background of recording]

So what do you think?

It sounded familiar.

What?

The music.

The music right there at the end.

Why are you listening to the music, Steve?

Listen to the Russian!

We’re translating Russian!

I’m trying to listen to the Russian,

but there’s music


All right, babysitting time is over.

You need to get in there.

Hey, my board.

That was important data, shit-birds.

I guarantee you, what we’re doing is way more important than your data.

Yeah? And how do you know these Russians are up to no good anyways?

How does she know about the Russians?

I don’t know.

You told her about


It wasn’t me.

Hello, I can hear you.

Actually, I can hear everything.

You are both extremely loud.

You think you have evil Russians plotting against our country, on tape, and you’re trying to translate, but haven’t figured out a word because you didn’t realize Russians use an entirely different alphabet.

Sound about right?

Whoa! What do you think you’re doing?

I wanna hear it.

[both] Why?

‘Cause maybe I can help.

I’m fluent in four languages, you know.

Russian?

Ouyay areyay umbday. [laughs] Ohhoho!

Holy shit!

That was Pig Latin, dingus.

Idiot.

But I can speak Spanish and French and Italian, and I’ve been in band for 12 years.

My ears are little geniuses, trust me.

Uh


Come on, it’s your turn to sling ice cream, my turn to translate.

I don’t even want credit. I’m just bored.

[bell dings at counter]

[light jazz playing]

Yes?

Mrs. Driscoll?

Yes?

Hi, um, I’m Nancy.

Nancy Wheeler.

We spoke briefly on the phone last night.

We’re from The Hawkins Post. Oh! Oh, yes!

Oh, my goodness.

Oh. You look too young for reporters.

We get that a lot.

[Mrs. Driscoll chuckles] Follow me.

[Nancy] Oh, it’s
 it’s lovely.

Um, do you live here all alone?

Yes. Jack, my husband, he passed away, what is it now, ten years ago.

Oh, um
 I’m
 I’m so sorry.

Oh, don’t be.

I kinda like the quiet.

At least, I did.

[door hinge creaks]

This way.

[steps creaking]

It’s right over there.

[Mrs. Driscoll] You see those little teeth marks, don’t ya?

And
 these bags, um
 you’re sure they were full before?

I’m old, honey, not senile.

Bought them over at Blackburn’s Supplies just last Tuesday.

Now you tell me, why would rats want to eat a poor old woman’s fertilizer?

Are you sure they did?

Maybe they just gnawed the bag? I mean
 eating fertilizer seems


Crazy. Believe me, I know, honey.

But
 [sighs] Something’s not right with these rats.

What does that mean, exactly


“not right”?

Rabies, my guess.

That’s when I said to myself, “Doris, you gotta call the paper.”

Because if those diseased rats are runnin’ loose, the people, they oughta know.”

Wouldn’t you agree?

[crashing sound]

Oh, yes, I forgot to mention!

Come on over here.

[thud]

[loud squeal] #I caught one of the little bastards.

[monstrous chittering]

[squealing, snarling]

[crowd chanting] Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine! Kline’s a swine!

[footsteps echoing]

[crowd chanting] Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

Kline’s a swine!

[chanting fades]

[woman] Jim?

Mayor Kline is ready for you.

Great.

Thank you.

Jim.

[chuckles] Thanks for coming by.

I’m not doing it, Larry.

[laughs]

Calm down, now.

You don’t even know what I want.

You don’t like your fan club, you want me to shut ’em down. Sound about right?

[laughs] When’d you get so serious?

Take a seat.

[protesters cheering]

[protester speaking indistinctly]

[clears throat dramatically]

[grunts]

My fan club, as you call them, now, you know why they’re out there, don’t ya?

They’re not actually fans?

[chuckles]

They lost their jobs to the mall and blame me for helping make that happen.

Now, you go ask anyone else in this town.

They all love the mall.

It’s helped our economy grow, brought in new jobs, and just some incredible new stores.

Which is why they all stopped shopping at their, uh, mom-and-pops.

Now, that’s not me, Jim.

Mmhmm?

Uh-uh.

That’s just, uh, good old fashioned American capitalism.

Well, Larry, I think that they’re just exercising their good old fashioned American right to protest.

[grunts]

I agree.

Yeah.

If.

If they had a permit.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong here, Jim, but, uh


I don’t believe they secured a permit from your office, did they?

Not that I’m aware of.

Then I do believe it’s within my right to get rid of them.

Larry, I’m not a politics guy, but I think if you force those people out of here without provocation, I don’t think that’s a good look for your reelection campaign.

[“America the Beautiful” playing]

You know what’s in four days, Jim?

Independence Day?

That’s right.

And I’m gonna throw this town the biggest bash it’s ever seen.

Fireworks, music, activities, you name it.

I’m gonna pull out all the stops.

You know why?

‘Cause at the end of the day, that’s all the voters will remember.

But I can’t think, much less plan, with all that racket going on out there.

So, if you don’t mind, please
 just do your job.

Flash your little gold badge, and get rid of them.

[indistinct chatter]

So, what do you think?

Hey, what’s wrong?

Too many people.

Against the rules.

Seriously?

You have superpowers.

What’s the worst that could happen?

[upbeat synth music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

So, what should we do first?

[laughs] You’ve never been shopping before, have you?

Well, then I guess we’re just gonna have to try everything.

Ooh. Come on.

I just


I don’t understand what we’re looking for.

Something pretty and shiny that says “I’m sorry.”

What, just something that literally says “I’m sorry”?

No!

[cash register beeping]

Do you like that?

How do I know
 what I like?

You just try things on.

Until you find something that feels like you.

Like me?

Yeah.

Not Hopper.

Not Mike.

You.

[wind whistling]

[“Too Late for Tears” playing]

[Joyce inhales sharply]

[deep sigh]

[tires screeching]

[doorbell rings]

Hello?

[“My Bologna” playing]

â™Ș Ooh, my little hungry one

Hungry one â™Ș

â™Ș Open up a package of
 â™Ș

[Joyce] Hello?

[doorbell chimes]

[Joyce] Hello?

â™Ș Top it with a little of

My bologna â™Ș

â™Ș My, my, ay, ay, woo! â™Ș

â™Ș Mmmmm

My, my, my, ay, ay, woo! â™Ș

â™Ș Mmmmy bologna
 â™Ș

Mrs. Byers?

â™Ș Mmmmy bologna â™Ș

â™Ș Mmmmy bologna â™Ș

[rat squealing]

[squealing, screeching]

We’re gonna have to keep doing this until you stop moving, you little shit.

[squealing continues]

Hi, yes, um, this is Nancy Wheeler from The Hawkins Post. Yeah, um


I have a bit of a weird question for you.

I was wondering if you guys had gotten any recent calls about, um
 rabid rats?

[indistinct male voice on line]

No, uh, rabid rats.

Rats with rabies?

Okay, um


What about just rats, in general?

Uh-huh.

Okay. Thank you.

You’re a regular little detective, aren’t ya?

[Nancy sighs]

Lemonade? It’s fresh-squeezed.

Sure, thanks.

Um


Do you mind if I make just a few more calls?

Not at all. I enjoy the company.

[dialing]

[squealing]

[cage rattles]

[squealing intensifies]

[squealing stops]

[pained squeals]

[rapid squealing]

You all right, little bud?

[screeching]

Jonathan!

I have a lead.

Uh


Yeah, okay, but, uh


I just think there’s something really wrong with this rat.

Yeah, no shit.

Come on.

No, I


[pained squealing]

Nancy, wait up.

[lights buzzing]

[pained squealing continues]

[screeching]

[goo snarling]

[squealing]

[thunderclap]

[Billy] I said, what do you want?!

[deep echoing voice] To build.

I want you to build.

To build what?

What you see.

I don’t understand.

[thunderclap]

I don’t understand!

What do you mean? I don’t understand!

[gasps]

[distorted voices]

[groans]

[grunts]

[sniffles]

[flesh sizzling]

[grunts]

[labored breathing]

[distorted male voice] Hey, man!

[distorted female voice]

Billy, are you okay?

[panting]

[heavy breathing]

[squelching]

[screams]

[high-pitched screeching]

[yells]

[yells]

[woman] Billy?

[voice echoes]

Billy.

[voice echoes]

[panting]

[distorted] Take me to him.

What?

I said, are you hurt?

What’s going on? I heard screaming.

Should I call an ambulance?

[woman] Billy?

[scream echoes]

[“Material Girl” playing]

[laughs]

Excuse me, sir.

Mmhmm?

How much for this teddy bear right here?

Three hundred?

Three hundred.

I should’ve shoved that teddy bear right up his


[cash register dings]

â™Ș Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me â™Ș

â™Ș I think they’re okay â™Ș

â™Ș If they don’t give me proper credit â™Ș

â™Ș I just walk away â™Ș

â™Ș They can beg and they can plead â™Ș

â™Ș But they can’t see the light â™Ș

â™ȘThat’s right, that’s right â™Ș

â™Ș ‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash â™Ș

â™Ș Is always Mister Right â™Ș

â™Ș ‘Cause we are living

In a material world â™Ș

â™Ș And I am a material girl â™Ș

â™Ș You know that we are living

In a material world â™Ș

â™Ș And I am a material girl â™Ș

Hey, Mike.

[bottle pump spritzes]

Oh!

Uh! Ahh!

â™Ș If they can’t raise my interest
 â™Ș

[man] That’s it, girls!

Okay, here we go.

Wardrobe change, please!

Wardrobe change! Thank you!

Shake it. Shake it out for me.

â™Ș ‘Cause we are living â™Ș

â™Ș In a material world
 â™Ș

[Eleven gasps, laughs]

[Max and Eleven laugh]

â™Ș You know that we are living

In a material world â™Ș

â™Ș And I am a material girl â™Ș

[laughing]

â™Ș Living in a material world â™Ș

â™Ș And I am a material girl â™Ș

â™Ș You know that we are living

In a material world
 â™Ș

[low frequency vibration]

[gasping]

[both laugh] Come on!

See? What’d I tell you?

There’s more to life than stupid boys.

Can we please play D&D now?

No.

No.

[male voice speaking Russian]

[waltz tune playing]

Wait, that last part, just one more time.

Okay.

[rewinding]

[recording continues]

Okay, that word. Um


It’s pronounced
 “dlynnaya.”

“Dlynnaya
”

Which is spelled


D
 D, D, D


[Robin sighs] The
 The chair. The chair-looking thingy.

Yeah, okay.

We’ve got our first sentence.

Oh, seriously?

Yeah.

[in Russian accent] “The week is long.”

Well, that’s thrilling.

I know. But, progress.

Okay, here you go, you got a strawberry and then a vanilla with sprinkles,

extra whipped cream.

[both] Thanks.

Wait a second.

Are you even allowed to be here?

[Eleven laughs]

That


Okay.

You wanna trade?

[Mike] That’s ridiculous.

Why can’t I just


Oh, you’ve gotta be shitting me.

[Lucas] Haven’t got that much.

Okay, what if we split it?

Split it with what?

Does that even make sense?

Isn’t this a nice surprise.

What are you doing here?

Shopping.

This is her new style.

What do you think?

What’s wrong with you?

You know she’s not allowed to be here.

What is she, your little pet?

Yeah.

Am I your pet?

What? No!

Then why do you treat me like garbage?

What?

You said Nana was sick.

She is.

She is. She is sick.

Yeah, sick
 she’s sick.

She’s sick.

She’s super sick.

That’s why we’re here, actually.

Yeah, we’re shopping.

Not for us, but for her, for Nana.

For Nana.

Also, we’re here to get a gift for you.

Just, we couldn’t find anything that suited you and I only have, like, $3.50, so it’s hard.

Super hard.

It’s
 It’s expensive.

You lie.

Why do you lie?

[bus brakes squeal]

[bus door hisses open]

I dump your ass.

[“Cold as Ice” playing]

â™Ș You’re as cold as ice â™Ș

[both laugh]

â™Ș You’re willing to sacrifice

Our love
 â™Ș

Now can we play D&D?

No.

He raised my property taxes, Jim.

Forced me off my land.

You can protest all you want, Henry, you’ve just gotta go through the proper channels first.

Nothing proper about what that man did to us!

To our town!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Flo] Special delivery!

Ooh, yeah.

[Hopper laughs]

That the right one?

[chuckles] Yeah.

Yeah!

That’s a lot of color for you, Chief.

It’s cutting-edge stuff, all right?

It’s cutting-edge!

[chamber music playing]

[car door opens, closes]

[car engine starts]

I’ll start off with a Scotch, you can make that a double.

Very good, sir.

And I think we’ll have a bottle of red, as well.

Very good, sir.

And how’s your “cheeanti”?

Our Chianti is quite good.

Chianti.

Medium-bodied, with just a hint of cherry.

Great.

Women love cherries, huh?

All right, we’ll have that and two
 two glasses, please, one for, uh, me and one for the lady.

[waiter] Ooh. Very good, sir.

[crickets chirping]

[Joyce] And what is this again?

This is a solenoid.

It’s a coil, wrapped around a metallic core, and when electricity passes through it


It creates an electromagnetic field.

Exactamundo.

Now for the fun part.

Shall we?

Yeah.

[electric hum]

I
 I don’t see anything.

Nope.

You can’t see it, but it’s there, I assure you.

Our very own Clarke-Byers Electromagnetic Field.

Pretty neato, huh?

Yeah.

And this field affects any charged object in its vicinity.

Just like my magnets.

Just like your magnets.

Okay, why is nothing happening?

Oh, because our field is stable.

But, if we reduce the current


How


The magnetic dipoles tried to orient according to the field, but


No, no, no, I mean, how is this happening at my house?

You want my honest opinion?

One of your kiddos got up in the middle of the night, bumped into the fridge, and knocked the suckers loose.

And the magnets at Melvald’s?

Apophenia.

Apowhatowhah?

Apophenia. Uh


You’re seeing patterns that aren’t there.

Coincidence.

But what if
 it’s not?

Well


Theoretically-speaking, I suppose some large version of this AC transformer could exist.

A machine of some kind.

A machine?

But, in order to reach your house and downtown, gosh, that would take billions of volts of electricity and cost tens of millions of dollars.

But it is possible.

We cured polio in ’53.

Landed on the moon in ’69.

As I tell my students, once you open up that curiosity door, anything is possible.

[Robin, Dustin, and Steve]

“The week is long,” the silver cat feeds, “when blue meets yellow in the west.”

I mean, it just
 it just can’t be right.

[Robin] It’s right.

Honestly, I think it’s great news.

How is this great news?

[chuckles] I mean, so much for being American heroes.

It’s total nonsense.

It’s not nonsense.

It’s too specific. It’s obviously a code.

What do you mean, a code?

Like a super secret spy code.

That’s a total stretch.

[Robin] I don’t know, is it?

You’re buying into this?

Listen, just for kicks, let’s entertain the possibility that it is a secret Russian transmission.

What’d you think they were gonna say, “Fire the warhead at noon”?

Exactly.

And my translation is correct.

I know that for sure, so


“The silver cat feeds.”

Why would anyone talk like that unless they’re trying to mask

the meaning of their message?

Exactly.

Why would anyone mask the true meaning of their message unless the message was somehow sensitive?

Exactly.

So I guess that confirms your suspicion.

Evil Russians.

I can’t believe I’m about to agree with this strange child, but, yeah, totally evil Russians.

So how do we crack it?

Well, I guess we translate the rest and hopefully a pattern emerges.

A pattern. Right, like maybe “silver cat” is a meeting place?

Or a person.

Or a weapon.

It’s probably gonna take a super genius to crack it, but


Where’s Steve?

[Robin] Hey, Steve.

[coins clatter] What are you doing?

Uh, it’s a quarter. I need


Do you have a quarter?

[chuckles]

Sure you’re tall enough for that ride?

Quarter!

[waltz tune playing]

You need help getting up, little Stevie?

Shh!

[Dustin chuckles] Would you two just shut up and listen?

[waltz tune continues]

Holy shit.

The music.

The music!

[man speaking Russian]

[waltz tune playing]

I don’t understand.

It’s the exact same song on the recording.

Maybe they have horses like this in Russia.

“Indiana Flyer”? I don’t


I don’t think so.

This code, it
 didn’t come from Russia.

It came from here.

[chamber music playing]

[couple laughing]

[waiter clears throat]

Would you like to order your entrée, sir?

[slurring] You know what, Enzo?

My name is not Enzo.

I just lost my appetite, all right?

So, here you go.

You can keep the change.

[dishes clatter]

Sir!

I’m afraid no alcohol is allowed off the premises.

[blows raspberry]

I can do anything I want.

I’m the chief of police.

[chamber music crescendos]

[distant thunder rumbling]

[car engine revving]

[woman] Billy, are you okay?

[woman grunts, chokes]

[footsteps]

[muffled whimpering]

[muffled whimpers]

[whimpering stops]

[Billy] Don’t be afraid.

It’ll be over soon.

Just stay very still.

[woman gasps]

[creature snarling]

[low roaring noise]

[screeching]

[screams]

[woman] No!

[woman screams]

[creature roars]

[monkey screeching]

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